The reasons of being a good guy

When I blamed my boyfriend for something, he often insisted that he is one of few Chinese good guys. Here are his reasons.

Compared with most of other Chinese men, firstly, he never gambles (except for fun). Secondly, he scarcely drinks, much less is drunk. Thirdly, he barely comes back home after 11pm at night, not even to mention stays outside all the night, never flirts with other women or finds prostitutes. Fourthly, he hardly smokes at home (except at his office). Fifthly, he always respects me, supports me, never controls me and stops me doing what I like to do. Lastly, he often helps me with cooking and chores as long as he is free and energetic.

Although what he told me is true and I admit that he is a good guy, not doing “bad” things can not lead to the result that he is a good guy. Furthermore, I did not ask him not to drink or smoke. Actually, I do not hate drinking and I even like the smell of cigarettes (my father likes smoking and I grow up with this kind of smell).

Anyway, these reasons do work because I would stop blaming him when he told me things like this every time. Compared with other Chinese men, I think he is really one of few Chinese good guys.

About funerals

I was woken up with a start by some noises last midnight. I heard some deafening clamors of gong and drum along with the sounds of firecrackers every now and then. I was not sure what it was. After several seconds, I saw what was happening and it was not for the first time. Looking at my watch, it was only over 4 a.m.

Someone who lived in the next unit of the same building died about a week ago. Today is her(or his) funereal day. Here is the custom of Wenzhou on funerals: when someone dies, his or her family and relatives will hold a funeral in his (her) house for him(her) on the third, fifth or seventh day. Moreover, they must do it as early as possible. Although many people who live nearby are disturbed, they often tolerate it because most Chinese people believe that all kinds of things related to a dead person are the most important.

However, I was wondering why they always hold funerals as early as possible. In my hometown, in general, people hold funerals in the daytime (commonly a whole day). I asked my bf after he was also woken up by the noises. He told me: people from Wenzhou are very industrious and smart. They do not like wasting time. At first, people really held funerals in the daytime. However, most people had to work in the day time, then in order to save time, they gradually hold them earlier and earlier, and finally it became a kind of custom.

About "should have" and "would have"

In most cases, when I wrote a subjunctive sentence (subjunctive mood), I remember I could use a "should + have(本来应该)" sentence. However, I often forgot I could also ( or have to) use a "would + have (本来可以)" sentence in some cases. Yes, I would find it out if there happens to be an English grammar book nearby, but I forgot about it later. I remember that I have looked up it for several times. Of course, always forgot later. I am even wondering how it happened.

I confronted the same problem when I wrote the journal yesterday. I thought about it for a while and finally used the "should+have+V" sentence . However, I realized it could be wrong when I read several sentences of the "would+have" construction in an article today. I hope I will remember it from now on. :)

A Big Surprise

Yesterday Chris told me he was still worrying about making mistakes, actually so do I. I know about my reasons but I do not know about his reasons. I thought about it for a while last night but could not figure it out.

Just now, when I was reading some articles named Error Correction in English and The Language Zone posted on http://thelinguist.blogs.com/, I was surprised to find that one of reasons might be that I always like to correct and finish sentences. I call it “a surprise” because I always thought I should help others with learning Chinese and they would like to, took it for granted and I never thought it could be a problem. What is more I might even never thought about it cause I could not recall whether I really corrected many or not, I just recall that I really helped finish many sentences. To be honest, I felt bad when I should have wanted to help others but finally found it did not work, even probably led to some negative effects.

Why have I been doing this and not realized it? Besides taking pleasure in correcting and scarcely speaking English to others before, I think it might be also linked to the Chinese culture. Chinese people are taught to be modest and prudent since we were children. In order to achieve this goal, our parents often criticize us instead of praising us. Gradually, we get used to being criticized whilst criticize others. For us, it is much easier and more to criticize others than praise them. For me, in my learning English, I really get used to being corrected (from my teachers, my classmates, even my bf). I just thought it is natural and necessary. In addition, we sometimes tend to do something which we think it is good for someone in the way of ourselves’ thinking. Now I can imagine that how I might feel if someone else always corrects me when I am speaking English. J

It is just my thoughts.

Am I a Newbie(菜鸟)?

Although I do not think I am a 大虾(sorry, I do not know how to say it in English), I am absolutely not a newbie(菜鸟) in computer-operating and internet-surfing. However, something happened today makes me start doubting it. Maybe, I am still one of newbies though I have helped some people solve their computer or internet problems (they are big newbies.:))

I have been in www.chinesepod.com/forum for several months. But I never thought I could delete my own posts. Therefore, I always asked for administrators when I needed. Of course, they are always kind and help me. I did not see it until today when one of the administrators told me I can delete it by myself when I wanted to delete my repeated post and asked for him again. I feel a little bit embarrassed.

A Nice Day

Yesterday I went to see my friend who lives in the nearby city. I found an essay when I was reading an English book named Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul on the way there. I like it so much and I should have planned to post it here last night. However, I did not have enough time because I had an appointment with other friends----going to disco.

My friends asked me why I suddenly wanted to go to disco as I invited them. Yes, they had reasons to be wondering because I scarcely went to this kind of places and it was about five months ago that I went there last time. Therefore, I had to explain to them over and over again. I hated that.

Anyway, we had a nice night----we drank some beer (just a little bit), danced and talked. I saw some girls coming by themselves. Maybe, some of them just got dumped, had a fight with their respective boyfriends, or were not just in good mood. Actually, I was a little bit worried about them because I do not think it is safe here and I would never dare to come by myself.

My bf had not yet gone to bed and was chatting with several friends on the internet when I came back on nearly midnight. He asked me whether I had a nice night and I said yes. Then he reminded me that that kind of places is a little bit dangerous. I knew he was just worried about me. Thus I smilingly promised that I would be careful and never go there by myself. He smiled.

PS: I think it is better to write journals directly in English. As hard it is, I would like to try.

进不了家门了

今天晚上我们一家“三口”去听一场心理学讲座。老师讲得不错，我觉得收获挺大。讲座结束以后，有个朋友让我和她一起去吃夜宵，素仙要和她的朋友出去玩，因为她出门时没带钥匙，又怕回来得太晚，我就把自己的钥匙给她了，老公说他要一个人先回家。

和朋友吃完夜宵回到家的时候已经十点了，我想着老公可能早就睡着了。谁知我敲了半天门也没人应，打电话一问才知道，他后来又被素仙叫去玩杀人游戏了，可能要很晚才回来。听他这么一说，我气不打一处来，他们两个人每个人都有钥匙，一起去玩也不告诉我一声，害得我现在进不了家门。后来他们两个叫我打的过去和她们一起玩，而我有点累了，不想去玩了，只好先到附近朋友家里一边上网一边等他们回来。

情绪低落的日子

最近这两天心情不是很好。我感受到了一些来自职业、情感、父母等方面的压力，让我觉得很焦虑，心烦意乱，甚至对自己有一点失望。一开始我没有在意，觉得也许只不过是像往常一样的情绪低落，可是我的睡眠却受到了严重影响：每天早上很早就醒了，很难再睡着。除此之外，我还老是犯错误：忘了做该做的事情，上班走错路……

看来，我需要找个办法解决它。OK，每个人都有心情不好的时候，没什么大不了的。

PS: 昨天晚上没有做饭（老公做的），也没有洗碗（素仙洗的），这也算是一件令人开心的事吧，呵呵。

Blue days

I have not been in good mood the latest two days. I feel some pressures coming from my career, my parents and the relationship with my boyfriend. All of these pressures make me feel distracted, anxious and even a little bit disappointed about myself. At first, I didn’t care about it because I thought it might be only the bad mood as it used to be. However, it seems to have had a heavy effect on my sleep------every day I wake up very early and can hardly fall asleep again. Moreover, I often made mistakes----forgot to do something which should have been done, went to work along a wrong way, etc.

As it appears, I need to find a way to solve it. Ok, I think it is not a big deal because everybody has blue days.

PS：I did not cook for dinner (my bf did) and not clean dishes (Suxian did) yesterday. Anyway, it could be counted in a happy thing. :)

这个冬天不太冷

I wrote this journal in Chinese on this Monday and just finished the translation. It is very hard for me to translate because I decribed many quiet things.

虽然温州很早就进入冬季了，可天气却一直比较暖和，一点儿也感觉不到冬天的气息，有时候甚至给人一种春天的感觉。昨天当然也不例外，虽然早上有风，刮在脸上有点辣辣的感觉，可是到了中午的时候，温度竟然有十几度，太阳照在身上，暖融融的，很舒服。

在这样一个暖和的星期天，实在是应该出去转转、晒晒太阳。于是吃完午饭就和老公一起去市里的一座人工开发的山上公园(华盖山)转了转。山上人很多，多数是老人，他们有的坐在那里聊天，有的坐在山上的小茶馆里品茶，还有的在玩小孩子的游戏，很是惬意。也有一些年轻人，有的在打网球，有的在跳绳，有的租一张小桌子、几张小凳子，三五成群地坐在一起打牌，还有一些年轻的恋人，躲在某个角落里说着情话。

我和老公就这样一路说着、笑着，不知不觉就来到了后山角下的一个广场上，上面有一个演出舞台，说来也巧，今天这里正好有一场演出，所以广场上很热闹。
虽然我们只是到处走走，可依然很开心。其实，幸福就是这么简单, 至少对我来说是这样的。

This winter is not that cold!

Although this winter came to Wenzhou many days ago, it has been so fine and warm that we have not even felt a sense of winter at all. Furthermore, sometimes, we even felt it like spring. Yesterday was of course no exception. Windy as it was on the morning, and though we felt a little bit hot when the wind hit us in the face, it was very warm and the temperature was even over 10 ℃ on midday. We felt very comfortable when the sunshine shone down on us.

On such a warm Sunday, we really should go out for a walk and expose ourselves to the pleasant warmth. Therefore, after lunch, my bf and I strolled in the park named Huagai Mountain, which was developed by people and built on a little mountain within the urban area. There were many people there and most of them are old. Some of them just sat there talking; some was enjoying some tea in the tea café on the mountain, and the others were playing a simple game which should have belonged to children. They all were pleased. Moreover, there were also some young people------some were playing tennis; some were skipping ropes; some just rent several little tables, several taborets and then (three, four or five as a group) played cards; some young lovers were saying lover’s language hiding in some corners.


We imperceptibly came to the square at the foot of the back side of the mountain by talking and laughing along the mountain lane. What a coincidence! There was a stage show there and many people were watching it. Therefore, it was very lively.


We were still happy though we just walked around. Actually, happiness is really very easy to have. At least for me, it is very easy to have.

“爱情”小语

爱情是对完美生命的奖赏，而不是对残缺生命的修缮。

爱情是锦上添花，没有爱情，我们的生命依然可以是一匹良锦。

爬山

前几天有个朋友说她姥姥家旁边有座山，风景还不错，让我们元旦的时候去玩一下。出去玩当然是好事，更何况我也喜欢爬山。不过，天公不作美，头天晚上就开始下雨，一直下到早上。还好，等我们出发的时候雨已经停了。

尽管雨停了，可是路上还是湿漉漉的，山路很滑，一不小心就会摔一脚。我们一行七、八个人，一路上走走停停，说说笑笑，看看风景，顺便拍拍照，倒也十分有趣。山上非常幽静，不时地会听到小鸟的歌唱，真是一个世外桃源。

几个小时以后，终于到了朋友的姥姥家，我们又累又饿，于是先休息一会儿，接着就要考虑吃饭的问题了，可是村子里连个小饭馆也没有，怎么办呢？朋友说她到隔壁邻居那里去问问，看是否愿意帮我们做些面条。村里人很朴实，爽快地答应帮我们做。不一会儿就做好了，他做的面条虽然比不上自己家里做的饭，可是也非常好吃。吃完以后我们要给他钱，他说什么也不肯收，我们都有点不好意思了。

晚上回到家里已经是筋疲力尽了。


Several days ago, a friend told me that there was a beautiful mountain beside her grandma’s house and invited my bf and I to go there for fun on the New Year’s Day. It is surely good to go out for fun, further more, I like climbing mountains. However, we lacked luck (without the favor from the god) because it began raining from the night before the New Year’s Day, until the next morning. Fortunately, the rain had been over when we left.

Although the rain was over, it was still wet and slippery on the mountain lane. We might slip down without attention. It was really interesting that all of us----seven or eight persons---- walked and stopped, talked and laughed, saw the scenery, and took some photos all the way. It was very quiet here and we could hear birds’ singing every now and then, which was really a paradise outside this world.

Several hours later, we finally arrived in the house of my friend’s grandma. We were tired and hungry, thus, we first had a rest and then needed to consider our lunch. However, there is even no little restaurant in the village, what could we do? The friend said she was going to find the neighbor who lives in the next door and ask whether he would like to cook some noodles for us. He was very honest and frankly agreed to help us. After a short while, he finished it. The noodles were very delicious although they were not more delicious than the food we could cook by ourselves. After that, we wanted to give him some money, nevertheless, he did not accept them whatever we said. We felt a little bit embarrassed.

We were exhausted when we came back at night.